I guess it's time to acknowledge it. I'm a slacker. That hasn't always been true, but I can't seem to get into a groove. Facebook is my current vice... I'm wondering if I'm going to have to give it up completely. But I love that it has kept me in touch with so many people. I don't like phones- unless we are very good friends, I'm not likely to keep in touch that way.
So every day, I try again. I need to get a, b, c... done. I need to at least spend x hrs doing this stuff. And day after day, I end with, "It's okay. I'll try again tomorrow." Why? I keep wondering what is wrong with me; why I can't seem to stay on-track. It's frustrating. And humbling.
I try to reason with myself.
* If I get this done, I can really relax- not just stress while I'm wasting time.
* Once my internship and thesis are done, I can look for a real job (something in the camp industry).
* I want my life to be meaningful. This stuff isn't meaningful.
But "just a few more minutes" is like a marshmallow placed perfectly on the edge of a bonfire. It expands... vastly.
So I have my list of things to finish today. I got some of them done- at least the most important ones. I met with my supervisor, and he's happy with what I gave him. But I know I can help better if I finish sooner. My product is the key to they're expansion. I still have a few more things to do tonight.... And then tomorrow's a new day.
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