Monday, May 9, 2011

Smart Aleck

I have this habit of daydreaming up scenarios of how I would react, or like to react in various situations. I think I'm more of a smart aleck in my daydreams, than I am in real life. Today, I walked over to 7-11 for a hot dog. On the way, I saw an old man crouched down against a wall, hands on his head, covered in dirt, and looking worn out. I wished I could help him. I got to the store, and bought myself a hot dog- and decided to get him a couple steak taquito rollers- figured maybe he's had enough hot dogs, and they're cheap, so no big deal.
As I walked back, I passed him, glad he didn't disappear, and gave them to him. He smiled big and thanked me, and I continued walking, wishing I could do better, and praying that God will help him. Then I thought about the food distribution laws. It is illegal to distribute food without the right permits. The purpose is health-related. The implication is that technically, it's illegal to give food to the homeless without a permit.... not that any cop would uphold it, but if they did... say a really legalistic or grouchy cop happened to pass me as I gave the old guy food. Thus began the daydreaming:

Cop: May I see your permit?
Me: What permit?
Cop: To distribute food. It's illegal to distribute food to strangers without a permit.
Me: Well, I know his father. He wanted me to get him something.
Cop: His father? He's too old for his father to be alive!.... Oh, you mean God :-( ..... but you can't tell me this man's name, so it's illegal.
Me: Okay, so is that what the law says... that you can't DISTRIBUTE food?
Cop: Yes.
Me: Oh, okay (I hand my own food over to the old guy)
Cop: (quizzically) How does that help?
Me: Well, if I give it all to him, you know I'm not distributing it among people, right?

... I have a hard time with endings.
I love comments. It makes me feel like I'm not just talking to a wall, and rids me of the feeling that this time, I said too much, or said something the wrong way.

(I review your comments first, so if you want to say something just to me, just let me know).